John Nash 1933-2015

beautifulmindNash was one of my all-time heroes, ranking up in the scientific pantheon with eg Einstein. oh but as nobody else has the nerve to say, what an “ironic” way to die, being driving home as passenger in a taxi after receiving one of the most prestigious mathematics awards, after already winning the nobel! it would seem maybe sometimes there is a hidden order in the universe, and sometimes it has a very incomprehensible/ black/ gallows sense of humor. as the greeks & some other cultures intuited, sometimes the Gods seem to look down on fragile men and laugh.

Beautiful Mind movie is one of my favorites of all time, it was a small hollywood miracle this movie was made with such great actors and director, and furthermore was recognized with several oscars. a Best Case Scenario. another politically incorrect elephant in the room to state, Nash was literally a real life “certifiable” Mad Scientist.™

my own life was “touched by schizophrenia” only about ~½ decade after the movie was released—as a close sibling was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, a combination of schizophrenia and a mood disorder (eg depression). the prognosis was grim and the deteriorating outcome marched to its glass-shattering end with grisly, seemingly irreversible precision. tragedy. some of the sting now worn off ~½ decade later. days go by and still I think of you

Leave me when I’m at my worst
Feeling as if I’ve been cursed
Bitter cold within

a. nash
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